OCA PEOPLE: BUBUIRA BEKTENOVA

BUBUIRA BEKTENOVA: “CREATIVE PEOPLE ARE KNOWNAS CONDUCTORS TO THE WORLD THEY SPEAK OF HUMANISM” OCA Magazine: Please tell us the most important things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Bubuira Bektenova: I’m Bektenova Bubuira, a writer from Kyrgyzstan, from my childhood I dreamed of […]

OCA PEOPLE: DANA ZHETEYEVA

DANA ZHETEYEVA: “CREATIVITY GROWS WHEN YOU STAY CURIOUS AND OPEN” OCA Magazine: Please tell us the most important things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Dana Zheteyeva: I am an English teacher with MBAs in Marketing and Business Administration, and since 2010 I have […]

OCA PEOPLE: ELENA KOROLEVA (ELEN KORO)

ELENA KOROLEVA (ELEN KORO): “I TAKE GREAT PLEASURE IN RAISING THE YOUNGER GENERATION” OCA Magazine: Please tell us the most important things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Elena Koroleva (ELEN KORO): Greetings to you, Elen Koro – a unique woman, the author of […]

OCA PEOPLE: YELENA MAKAROVA

YELENA MAKAROVA: “HONESTY, DECENCY, AND HUMANITY ARE NECESSARY FOR EACH PERSONAS UNIQUE QUALITIES!” tant things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative and life credo and motivation for your creativity? Yelena Makarova: I am an author of books for children. My poems and fairy tales are constantly published in children newspapers in […]

OCA PEOPLE: MARSEL SALIMOV

MARSEL SALIMOV: “TO SERVE THE PEOPLE — THIS, I BELIEVE, IS THE TRUE PURPOSE OF MY CREATIVE WORK” OCA Magazine: Please tell us the most important things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative and life credo and motivation for your creativity? Marsel Salimov: I am by no means an important, remarkable, […]

OCA PEOPLE: MICHAEL ANANOV

MICHAEL ANANOV: “ARTISTS WORK TIRELESSLY TO DISCOVER A RECIPE FOR HARMINOUS COEXISTENCE” ant things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Michael Ananov: I am an essayist, playwright, poet, literary scholar, and translator of poetry. I belong to the Pushkin Society of Russian-speaking Writers “Arion,” […]

OCA PEOPLE: NARGISA KARASARTOVA

NARGISA KARASARTOVA: SO, I WOULD WISH ALL CREATIVEPEOPLE FLEXIBILITY,CONSITENCY, AND PURPOSEFULLNESS OCA Magazine: Please tell us the most important things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Nargisa Karasartova: My full name is Karasartova Nargisa Omurbekovna. I was born in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan on August 29, […]

OCA PEOPLE: SALTANAT KHAMZEYEVA

SALTANAT KHAMZEYEVA: MY ADVICE TO THOSE JUST BEGINNING THEIR CREATIVE JOURNEY – CREATE! OCA Magazine: Please tell us the most important things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Saltanat Khamzeyeva: Khamzeeva Saltanat Malikovna – editor, writer, Custodian of the Eurasian Creative Organisation, and representative […]

OCA PEOPLE: TATYANA CHABROVA

TATYANA CHABROVA: WARMTH AND KINDNESS, SUPPORTING MY TALENTED STUDENTS tant things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Tatyana Chabrova: I am a university lecturer and have been published since 1990. I participate in competitions, and my work has been included in textbooks and didactic […]

OCA PEOPLE: WARREN WILLS

WARREN WILLS: A TRUE ARTIST NEEDS TO CREATETHE CONDITIONS OF TOTAL FREEDOM OCA Magazine: Please tell us the most important things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Warren Wills: Most important thing about the work I’m doing at the moment is that music is […]

OCA PEOPLE: EDGAR ANPILOGOV

EDGAR ANPILOGOV: REMEMBER: TRUE INSPIRATION LIES WITHIN YOU OCA Magazine: Please tell us the most important things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Edgar Anpilogov: When you combine academic education with active, creative involvement in historical and cultural projects, meaningful civic engagement, and responsible […]

OCA PEOPLE: NURLAN MUNBAEV

NURLAN MUNBAEV: I WISH YOU THE COURAGE TOBE YOURSELF, THE PATIENCE TO FINDYOUR OWN VOICE… OCA Magazine: Please tell us the most important things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Nurlan Munbaev: Expert on the Caspian and Aral Seas, international accreditation expert of the […]

OCA PEOPLE: OLEG NESTERKOV

OLEG NESTERKOV: TO REMAIN TRUE TO ONE’SCREATIVE PATH tant things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative, life credo and motivation for your creativity? Oleg Nesterkov: My public activities are connected with the promotion of Russian culture in the Republic of Belarus. I serve as an advisor on organisational and administrative matters […]

OCA PEOPLE: SULTAN RAEV

SULTAN RAEV: I BELIEVE KYRGRZ LITERATUREIS A SIGNIFICANT BUT STILLUNDERREPRESENTED PART OF THE WORLD’S CULTURAL HERITAGE OCA Magazine: Please tell us the most important things about yourself and your creative work. What is your creative and life credo and motivation for your creativity? Sultan Raev: I consider myself a creative person – a writer and […]

“The Black Cloak” at the Shaw Theatre: a parable about humanity beyond allegory

“The Black Cloak” at the Shaw Theatre: a parable about humanity beyond allegory On 13 November, London’s Shaw Theatre welcomed the Kazakh company The Arts Stage, presenting The Black Cloak, based on Georgy Khugaev’s play and directed by Askhat Mayemirov. The performance became one of the standout events of the autumn theatre season, reminding us […]

“THE BLACK CLOAK”: A CAPTIVATING PERFORMANCE ABOUT LOYALTY, BETRAYAL AND ETERNAL VALUES

“THE BLACK CLOAK”: A CAPTIVATING PERFORMANCE ABOUT LOYALTY, BETRAYAL AND ETERNAL VALUES The Arts Stage Theatre invites you to the unique premiere of the play “The Black Cloak”, where legendary animals come to life on the British stage, revealing the secrets of human nature. Expect incredible acting transformations, a story filled with passion and pain […]

FINDING HOME: THE INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL EXPERIENCE IN TASHKENT

When diplomatic families, international professionals, and global businesses relocate to Tashkent, they discover a city rich in history and opportunity. Among the considerations for these families is finding an educational environment that honours their international perspective while preparing children for an increasingly connected world. The Tashkent International School (TIS) emerged from this need in 1994, […]

BRIDGING CULTURES, BUILDING FUTURES: THE BRITISH COUNCIL IN KAZAKHSTAN

BRIDGING CULTURES, BUILDING FUTURES: THE BRITISH COUNCILIN KAZAKHSTAN For over three decades, the British Council has played a key role in strengthening the relationship between the United Kingdom and Kazakhstan. As the UK’s international organisation for cultural relations and educational opportunities, it connects people and institutions, promotes mutual understanding, and contributes to Kazakhstan’s aspirations. Its […]

IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

CHALLENGES OF BUSINESS EDUCATIONIN UZBEKISTAN: A SYSTEMIC ANALYSISAND MODERNIZATION STRATEGIES There are many challenges in business education within Uzbekistan, including outdated curricula (only 15% updated annually), a shortage of instructors with practical business experience (25% compared to 60% in OECD countries), language barriers (92nd globally in English proficiency), and regional disparities (60% of universities concentrated […]

CAN PARTNERING REALLY UNLEASH CENTRAL ASIA’S TALENT?

Challenges and Opportunities in Establishing International Partnerships AmongCentral Asia’s Educational Institutions Central Asia, an area abundant in history and cultural variety, stands at a critical juncture in its educational progress. Central Asia, which includes countries like Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, and Turkmenistan, is seeing its education systems adapt to historical influences and contemporary needs. This […]

FROM ERRORS TO INNOVATIONS: HOW KYRGYZSTAN IS RESHAPING EDUCATION

Since gaining independence, the countries of the post-Soviet space have focused significant attention on finding and building an optimal strategy for developing their education systems. Dastan Bekeshev, Member of the Jogorku Kenesh (Parliament) and Deputy Chairman of the Budget Committee of the Kyrgyz Republic, spoke with OCA Magazine about the main challenges and achievements on […]

MOLDOVA IS LEARNING

The path taken by the Republic of Moldova in developing its education system differs significantly from that of other post-Soviet countries. Here, reforms were neither radical nor rapid — yet it is precisely this gradual approach that has allowed Moldova to shape a model combining Soviet-era legacies, European benchmarks, and distinct national features. However, despite […]

BRIDGING CONTINENTS A COMPARATIVE LOOK AT EDUCATION DEVELOPMENT IN EAST AFRICA AND CENTRAL ASIA

Education remains a cornerstone of national development, social equity, and economic growth. While East Africa and Central Asia are separated by geography and history, their education systems reveal striking parallels in challenges, reform efforts, and aspirations. As both regions strive toward achieving Sustainable Development Goal 4 – a quality education for all – they are […]

METHODICA: BRIDGING CULTURES THROUGH THE UZBEK LANGUAGE

In recent years, Uzbekistan has become an increasingly important cultural and economic crossroads in Central Asia, attracting diplomats, international organizations, and businesses from around the world. As the country opens its doors to greater international engagement, the need for high-quality Uzbek language education has never been more pressing. Meeting this need is Methodica, a pioneering […]

EDUCATING UZBEKISTAN’S TOURISM WORKFORCE FOR TODAY AND TOMORROW

Uzbekistan’s tourism targets are well known: President Mirziyyev has repeatedly stated that he aims to attract 15 million international arrivals a year by 2030, which represents a more than 100% increase from 2023. More valuable metrics for the economy, however, are the financial contribution that travel and tourism (T&T) make to gross domestic product (GDP); […]

TRANSFORMING SAKEN SEIFULLIN KATRU: FROM A RESEARCH UNIVERSITY TO A WORLD-CLASS INSTITUTION IN AGRICULTURE

TRANSFORMING SAKEN SEIFULLIN KATRU: FROM A RESEARCH UNIVERSITY TO A WORLD-CLASS INSTITUTION IN AGRICULTURE Kazakhstan, a country with deep agricultural roots, is rapidly emerging as a major agro-industrial hub. This transformation necessitates the development of a new generation of professionals who are knowledgeable in advanced technologies, scientific innovation, and international standards. Within this context, Saken […]

PREPARING STUDENTS TO LEAD IN A DIGITAL FUTURE

PREPARING STUDENTS TO LEAD IN A DIGITAL FUTURE Interview: Zhanseit Tuimebayev, Chairman of the Board-Rector of Al-Farabi Kazakh National University OCA: What are the main challenges and prospects of the educational services market that are most significant in your segment? What practices do you use to overcome these challenges? Zhanseit Tuimbayev: Al-Farabi Kazakh National University […]

OCA#55 Welcome Word

I’m delighted to introduce another brimming issue of OCA Magazine, where we continue our commitment to exploring the dynamic and critical role of education in Central Asia and the Caucasus. As nations across Central Asia seek to modernise and diversify their economies, education lies at the heart of these ambitions — not only as a […]

OCA #54 From the Editor

WELCOME WORD Donald Trump’s inauguration as the United States’ 47th president has done little, so far, to reduce the global volatility we see both politically and economically. If anything, he has augmented the uncertainty the world faces today. Those who have studied his distributive (“I win you lose”) rather than integrative (“how do we all […]

WITH A PEN AND A SCALPEL IN HAND

WITH A PEN AND A SCALPEL IN HAND The best investment you can make is in yourself. It cannot be lost, and even in our unpredictable world, personal capital remains the most reliable asset. Many outstanding individuals from various fields prove this statement true. Some invest in education, others in expanding their horizons, and some […]

THE SHIFT OF THE INVESTMENT LANDSCAPE IN CENTRAL ASIAN AND CIS COUNTRIES: CURRENT TRENDS AND FUTURE OUTLOOK

THE SHIFT OF THE INVESTMENT LANDSCAPE IN CENTRAL ASIAN AND CIS COUNTRIES: CURRENT TRENDS AND FUTURE OUTLOOK Things are moving fast in Central Asia and the former Soviet Union (CIS) countries. The investment landscape has undergone significant changes driven by geopolitical shifts, economic reforms and evolving global market trends. Both traditional and non-traditional capital is […]

SILKROADLAND: MIXING ADVENTURE AND KNOWLEDGE TO CREATE “EDUTAINMENT”

SILKROADLAND: MIXING ADVENTURE AND KNOWLEDGE TO CREATE “EDUTAINMENT” The modern world, despite certain economic and political tensions, supports the idea of developing intercultural relations and preserving global cultural heritage. One of the most effective, accessible, exciting and, at the same time, investment-attractive formats of such work is the theme park. For example, Disneyland – one […]

CENTRAL ASIA PROVIDES A RARE HIGHLIGHT IN TODAY’S CHALLENGING REAL ESTATE INVESTMENT CLIMATE

CENTRAL ASIA PROVIDES A RARE HIGHLIGHT IN TODAY’S CHALLENGING REAL ESTATE INVESTMENT CLIMATE For many, the housing and wider real estate markets have had a miserable year. Interest costs have increased alongside inflation of general running costs and buyers are few and far between, making prices look frothy. But Central Asia is providing a rare […]

INAUGURAL TIMES HIGHER EDUCATION FORUM HELD IN UZBEKISTAN

INAUGURAL TIMES HIGHER EDUCATION FORUM HELD IN UZBEKISTAN In October, Tashkent hosted the inaugural Central Asian Universities Forum, organized by Times Higher Education in partnership with New Uzbekistan University. This landmark event brought together over 350 delegates from 25 countries, including 60 leaders of international organizations and representatives from 97 higher education institutions, including some […]

CREATIVE INDUSTRIES PARK:THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS REFORMING KYRGYZSTAN’S CREATIVE ECONOMY

CREATIVE INDUSTRIES PARK: THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS REFORMING KYRGYZSTAN’S CREATIVE ECONOMY Kyrgyzstan’s creative industries are beginning to play an increasingly important role in the country’s economy, although their contribution to gross domestic product is still very small. This has led to the creation of the Creative Industries Park, which opens up new opportunities for the […]

SCOTLAND HOSTS EURASIAN CREATIVE WEEK FOR THE FIRST TIME

SCOTLAND HOSTS EURASIAN CREATIVE WEEK FOR THE FIRST TIME From 28 to 30 November 2024, the VIII Eurasian Creative Week took place in Greenock, Scotland. The event brought together artists, writers, poets, diplomats and creative figures from 15 countries: Canada, France, Russia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Belarus, Israel, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Scotland, England, and Ukraine. The festival included […]

FIRST WORLD COACHING CHAMPIONSHIP PROVIDES PLATFORM FOR PROFESSIONAL ENRICHMENT

The Professional School of Business Coaches of the Centre for Training and Consulting and the Eurasian Creative Guild have been working on this event for several years. While we were gaining professionalism and conducting scientific research in the field of andragogy, the Guild was gaining experience in organising large-scale international events. At the first championship […]

KAZAKHSTAN: THE CREATIVE PHOENIX OF CENTRAL ASIA

KAZAKHSTAN: THE CREATIVE PHOENIXOF CENTRAL ASIA Kazakhstan’s creative economy is gradually becoming a powerful engine of economic growth, transforming traditional approaches to the country’s development. A look at the data and trends in the sector raises the question: could Kazakhstan become a new centre of creative power in the region? Creative industries’ contribution to global […]

ASTANA HOSTS 7th KAZAKHSTAN GLOBAL INVESTMENT ROUND TABLE KGIR-2024

ASTANA HOSTS 7th KAZAKHSTAN GLOBALINVESTMENT ROUNDTABLE KGIR-2024 The 7th Kazakhstan Global Investment Roundtable KGIR-2024 was held in Astana, the capital of Kazakhstan, and brought together over 500 business representatives, including CEOs of leading international and Kazakhstani companies in sectors such as agriculture, food processing, energy, mining and finance. The event was also attended by representatives […]

OCA MAGAZINE: 15 YEARS OF RECOGNITION AND IMPACT

OCA Magazine 15 Years of Impact & Recognition Fifteen years is a significant milestone for any publication. For OCA Magazine, a print magazine published in the UK, it is not just an anniversary, but a confirmation of its status as a leading international publication covering cultural, business and political events in Eurasia. Over the years, […]

IN MEMORY OF MARIA SHEVEL

Maria Shevel, born in Ukraine, left an indelible mark on the architectural landscape of Uzbekistan, merging national culture with engineering mastery in her projects. Her biography is not only a story of a talented architect but also a tale of a woman whose creative achievements and cultural contributions became symbols of Uzbekistan and an inspiration […]

IMITATION FOR ME IS SLAVERY

INTERVIEW WITH MICHAEL MATVEEV (K’ARTLI) OCA Magazine: Tell us, please, about yourself and your creative activity / workMichael Matveev: I am Mikhail Matveev aka Kartli, born on September 11, 1947, in the picturesque, lake-filled southern Urals, in the town of Chebarkul, Chelyabinsk region, in a country that almost no longer exists: the Union of Soviet […]

MY IDOLS WERE MY PARENTS AND MY GRANDFATHER

Interview with Shaizada Baikenova OCA Magazine: Tell us, please, about yourself and your creative activity / work.Shaizada Baikenova: Full member of the Academy of Arts of the Republic of Kazakhstan (academician). Member of the Union of Designers of the Republic of Kazakhstan, Director of the publishing house “Balalar adebieti” LLP, Member of ECG (London), Associate […]

THERE IS A COMPLETELY UNJUSTIFIED OPINION THAT APPLIED ART IS NOT ART

INTERVIEW WITH ZHAZIRA JANABAYEVA OCA Magazine: Tell us, please, about yourself and your creative activity / workZhazira Janabayeva: My name is Zhazira Janabaeva – a professional artist. My speciality is textiles. The techniques I work in are: silk painting and hand weaving. For the last 13 years my artistic practice is mandala art. The traditional […]

IN MEMORY OF BOLOTBEK SHAMSHIEV

Bolotbek Shamshiev was an outstanding Kyrgyz film director, actor, and screenwriter who left a profound mark on Soviet and Kyrgyz cinema. He was born on January 12, 1941, in Frunze (now Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan) into an intellectual family. His works were imbued with national identity and depth, attracting audiences not only in the Soviet Union but […]

IN MEMORY OF CYRUS YAVNEH

Cyrus Yavneh, born in New York City, came from a multicultural family: his father, Zalman, was a Belarusian Jew, and his mother, Anna, was a Sabra, a native Israeli. He graduated from City College of New York, and his life took an unexpected turn afterward. Before entering the entertainment industry, Yavneh tried his hand at […]

IN MEMORY OF AHMAD-KHOJA KHOREZMI

Ahmad-Khoja Khorezmi, whose real name was Ahmadjon Khudayberganov, was a renowned Uzbek poet, writer, and public figure, born in 1949 in the Khorezm region of Uzbekistan. His work deeply reflects the national traditions and the cultural and spiritual values of the Uzbek people, making him a significant figure in Uzbekistan’s literary community. Ahmad-Khoja’s talent and […]

IN MEMORY OF ALEXANDER ILLARIONOV

Alexander Illarionov was a poet, community activist, and cultural inspirer whose life was dedicated to preserving and promoting Russian culture and literature in Lithuania. Born on January 9, 1949, Illarionov received a military-technical education, which likely shaped his disciplined and resilient character. However, his true calling emerged in the arts and cultural work that became […]

IN MEMORY OF ARTEM DUDNIKOV

Magical, seductive, brightest Moscow 2017-2020. Peace, joy, positivity and a huge number of events that warm the soul. Every day you meet new people, sit down over a shot and not current, communication and just love and friendship between like-minded people. Trust and light, shared events and a smile that never leaves my face. When […]

IN MEMORY OF HELEN LIMONOVA

I met Helen Limonova as a collaborator on the Vintage Montage project in 2013. It was a moment that changed my life forever. Later, I worked with her in publishing, where she was not just an editor or publisher, but a real guide to the world of literature. Authors approached her publishing house and I […]

IN MEMORY OF JONATHAN FRYER

Jonathan Fryer (June 5, 1950 – April 16, 2021) was a British writer, journalist, lecturer, and politician whose life and work left a significant mark on literature and public life. Born in Manchester, he received his education at Oxford University, where he studied Chinese and Japanese languages. His career began with Reuters, after which he […]

IN MEMORY OF MURAT AUEZOV

Murat Auezov was not only the son of the historical figure in the Kazakh history, and the most popular classic writer of the XX century, Mukhtar Auezov, but also remained in history as an outstanding writer, cultural expert, diplomat, public figure for the Kazakh people. Murat Auezov was born in 1943 in Merki district of […]

IN MEMORY OF RAIM FARKHADI

Raim Hakimovich Farkhadi was born on 16 May 1942 in Samarkand (Uzbek SSR, now Uzbekistan). Died on 4 April 2024 (Tashkent, Uzbekistan). Raim Farkhadi was a poet, novelist, playwright, journalist, translator and children’s author. Member of the Union of Writers of Uzbekistan. Honoured Worker of Culture of the Republic of Uzbekistan, Commander of the Order […]

I DIDN’T CHOOSE POETRY… RATHER, POETRY CHOSE ME

INTERVIEW WITH RAUSHAN BURKITBAYEVA-NUKENOVA OCA Magazine: Tell us, please, about yourself and your creative activity / work.Raushan Burkitbayeva-Nukenova: I didn’t choose poetry… Rather, poetry chose me. Since childhood, I loved spending time alone with nature – talking to flowers, butterflies, and dragonflies, watching the red algae move in the stream.I had my own imaginary world…Later […]

DON’T THINK YOU ARE BRILLIANT

INTERVIEW WITH RIMA ULCHINA OCA Magazine: Tell us, please, about yourself and your creative activity / work.Rima Ulcina: Oh my God! Your question has taken me back to my childhood, when a sweet four-year-old imaginative girl was involved in oral song creativity from the moment she learned to speak. I was born into the family […]

IN MEMORY OF VLADIMIR SCHASTNY

It is with great pleasure that I share with you the feelings I experienced when I read the biography of my compatriot Vladimir Grigorievich Schastny. As fate would have it, my little hometown is forty kilometres from the town of Smorgon, where Vladimir Schastny was born in 1948. In my youth I often visited Zalesje, […]

I DREAM OF A PEACEFUL PLANET

OCA PEOPLE: OKSANA ZHUKOVA (SKY) OCA Magazine: Tell us, please, about yourself and your creative activity / work.Oksana Zhukova: I’m a poet, writer and artist. I was born in the South of Ukraine, now live in London (UK). I’m an Academician of the International Academy for the Development of Literature and Art, a member of […]

NAVIGATING CREATIVITY: THE MEDIA VOYAGE OF ALEXANDER SYVAK

OCA PEOPLE: ALEXANDER SYVAK OCA Magazine: Tell us, please, about yourself and your creative activity / work.My name is Alexander Syvak, I am the director of MediaCompass and publisher of the international maritime magazine Shipping. I started my media career in advertising and since then my team and I have successfully developed the transport media […]

YOUR LIFE IS UNIQUE!

OCA PEOPLE: LIDIA BELOZEROVA OCA Magazine: Tell us, please, about yourself and your creative activity / work.Lidia Belozerova: Meet Lidia Belozerova, the newest Guardian of the Eurasian Creative Guild based in London! I am a captivating blend of talents and passions. I am not only a teacher and psychologist but also a skilled musician, writer, […]

ALLOW ALL PEOPLE THE OPPORTUNITY TO PARTICIPATE, TO CREATE AND WORK IN THE FIELD OF MUSIC THEATRE

OCA PEOPLE: WARREN WILLS OCA Magazine: Tell us, please, about yourself and your creative activity / work.Warren Wills: My name is Warren Wills I’m from Melbourne Australia and I am a composer, a pianist and improviser and an educationalist. I’m a musical director and I’m a theatre director and predominantly my entire life has been […]